I spent today cleaning the bathroom. I’m high on bleach fumes. God knows, it needed cleaning – I’d been waiting for Huw to do his turn at cleaning it, but since he’s in the states for another week, it obviously wasn’t going to happen, and if we’re going to find a new flatmate, to replace him when he fucks off to the states, it needed doing.

Between that and working on more things for 9A, it’s been a busy day. And I’ve been looking forward to this bit all day. Candlelight again (I find it very relaxing. Sue me.) and tonight it’s Jack Daniels over ice, and butterscotch angel delight. And the Ramones. I’m trying to remember the last time I felt this good about life, and I’m forced to answer “February”.

Which really isn’t a good sign – I appear to have managed to get used to a state of constant tension. Well, perhaps “get used to” is a bit strong, since I know I’ve been a bit, um, erratic over the last couple of months, especially the last few weeks.

I’m not stupid enough to think that this magically means I’m back to my old self, but given that I hadn’t noticed how stressed I was (which sounds stupid now I say it – I knew I was busy at work and at home, but I really hadn’t noticed how unbelievably tense I was/am, which is pretty typical of me) I am at least optimistic that I can actually at least start to do something about it and stop behaving like quite so much of an idiot.

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