Firstly: Many thanks to alexdecampi and davebushe for the preview ticket.

I loved it.

I’ve got to be honest: I wasn’t expecting it to be much cop. There’s a lot of dialogue/monologue in the comic that I just felt would be a bit iffy, when spoken aloud. The few clips I’ve seen on telly made it sound like yes, this was very much the case. And indeed, in a few places it did creak, although I do wonder if (in some cases, although not all) that was partly because they were the bits I’d heard on telly. But for the greater part of it, it carried it off pretty well.

But let’s face it, you’re not going to see this for the dialogue. This is a film that’s all about the visuals, and it delivers, in spades. Gorgeous looking, like nothing we’ve ever seen from Hollywood. Miller’s co-director credit is well deserved – there’s almost no shot in the movie that’s not in the comics. (Although I think I’m correct in assuming that Tarantino’s scene is the one between Owen and del Toro in the car – it’s certainly the one that’s least like the comic.) If you’ve got any interest in cinema beyond a “good stories” level, this is an absolute must-see movie. If you just want good stories, and like noir, well, you’ll still like it. It’s a caricatured noir, but still it’s a bloody good ride.

It’s an all-star cast, so let’s take a couple of seconds to look at them, shall we? Acting wise, Mickey Rourke is the obvious show stealer. Bruce Willis and Clive Owen both put in adequate performances – Owen never seems quite as on the edge as I might have liked, but then, I think if he’d been more obviously loony, there’d have been little to distinguish Dwight and Marv, and Willis, is, well, he’s doing he usual tough guy job, and while we’ve seen it from him a lot in the past, it’s exactly what’s called for here.

It’s bit harder to judge the women, to be honest – there’s a bit less for the actresses to work with, as the women in Sin City seem to chiefly exist to spur very manly men to action. Although I felt Rosario Dawson was a bit of a let down – I didn’t feel that she and Owen had much chemistry between them (compared to Owen and Murphy), and as arguable the lead female role, that’s a bit of a flaw. Top marks in the villain category have to go to Nick Stahl and Rutger Hauer, for two pleasingly mental bastards. Elijah Wood’s role is suitably creepy, but other than maybe trading off casting against type for his eyes, he really doesn’t have a lot to do to make it creepy.

Still, all these people are pretty/grizzled, and do at least adequately, and to be honest judging their performance is quite tricky, given the extremely stylised nature of the whole movie, from plot and dialogue through to the stunning, stunning visuals. And as I say, it’s the visuals that are the star here, and deservedly so. A perfect job of translating the look of the comic to film.

All in all: A must-see movie.

(Although I still want to know who stole Rosario Dawson’s nipples. I mean, it looks like she’s meant to be wearing fishnet, and I don’t see any evidence of her wearing something under it, and yet she has no nipples. Someone must have stolen them…)

Gosh, that’s a surprise: it’s exactly as bad as the previous two. Actually, that’s not fair. It’s better than II. So is dental surgery.

Still, it’s nerdstalgia, and it was a laugh. I don’t begrudge the time or money. Which is damning with faint praise, but it really doesn’t deserve more. Portman and Christensen were rubbish, which didn’t help, since they were supposed to be the emotional core of that film. Portman did her best with some of the worst lines I’ve ever heard, but Christensen still has no discernably personality, charisma, or indeed, acting talent. (McDiarmid was having a good laugh, though – I haven’t seen sets that thoroughly chewed since Jeremy Irons got at the Dungeons and Dragons ones.)

Oh, and the lads behind Yoda’s CGI did a bloody marvellous job – the little green muppet managed most of the few emotional moments that actually worked.

And now we can all get on with the rest of our lives, and George Lucas can retire in order to work on growing that chin he’s always wanted.