No, I am in fact off to Scotland for a long weekend. See some of you there, I hope. The rest of you, try not to break the place while I’m gone.

I have seen it, therefore I must share my opinion with you all. That’s how these things work.

So, yeah, very nearly as good as everyone said. Well, everyone whose opinions retained some sense of perspective – anyone claiming it was a work of legendary cinema and “OMG best Mo!vie evaaaar!!!1!” obviously needs a slap and some heavy medication, because they’re plainly over-excitiable. Best superhero movie I can think of, though. Ledger’s performance is stunningly good – he is absolutely the best Joker seen outside of the comic, and never mine stealing his scene, he picks up the entire movie, wraps it in a bright red bow, and walks off with it under his arm, whistling nonchalantly – but I’m honestly not sure about Oscar worthy. I think he might get it on the grounds of being very bloody good, and dead, but if he’d lived, I’m sure the Academy would have felt he had better performances to come, and largely ignored this one.

I could have done without the car chase in the middle. I’ve never understood why every bloody Bat-movie has a Batmobile sequence, because (and I admit, I don’t read the Bat-comics closely) I can’t recall it getting a serious outing in the comics in that sort of context. It’s just sort of a thing Batman has to get around, you know? Yes, they made it work as much more than an action sequence, but still – every Bat movie, a car chase. And car chases just aren’t that interesting. Maybe it’s just me. Anyway, moving on.

Gary Oldman and Aaron Eckhart are also predictably superb, and I’m going to swerve here, because one of my criticisms of the movie is that Batman feels a little hollow this time around, and I think I’ve just worked out why Bale-as-Batman felt a little underwhelming this time out – all the emotional weight is carried by Wayne, Gordon and Dent. Whenever Batman’s about he feels kind of like a void – a black-armoured violence machine. I can see it’s part of the “forces of nature” parallel that’s being set up between Batman and the Joker, but the problem is that the Joker is so scene-stealing that Batman’s left looking a bit lacking in response. Also, it’s a man in a rubber bat suit, and look, I have suspended my disbelief from a very high ceiling, and I know what I’m watching and everything, but I say again: a man in a rubber bat suit. And I don’t care how good the actor is – when all he’s got to emote with is best described as “some of his chin”, you’re never going to get his best work.

Anyway, yeah: It’s a really, really good superhero movie. I don’t think there’s been better, and there’s certainly never been a better Bat-movie. Go. I know I’ll be going again.

Get up from desk to respond to courier arriving, removing headphones as I do so, discarding them on desk without really looking.

Return to desk to discover that whatever way I flung them down, they have landed in my mug of coffee, where they have been marinading nicely for the last five minutes.